In a world starving for leadership and guidance, we find ourselves at a crossroads. Our culture is experiencing what can only be described as a crisis of "father hunger." Young men and women are desperately seeking direction, flocking to podcasters, YouTube stars, and other influencers to learn not just practical skills, but how to navigate life itself. They're searching for answers on relationships, work ethic, and purpose.

At the heart of Paul's message is the idea that leadership in a church is led by individuals who have themselves been truly transformed. Leadership is not about implementing the right programs or strategies; it's about being guided by those of the right character.

So what does this character look like?

First and foremost, Paul emphasizes the importance of a leader's home life. This is the proving ground, where the rubber meets the road. A potential leader must be "above reproach" – not perfect, but with a reputation that stands up to scrutiny. Their relationship with their spouse should be one of unwavering commitment and fidelity. And their children? They should be responsive to guidance, not rebellious or uncontrolled.

Why focus on family life? Because, as Tim Chester wisely notes, "If he is domineering in his home, he is likely to be domineering in the church. If he fails to take responsibility in his home, he is likely to shirk responsibility in the church." The home is a microcosm of leadership in action.

But Paul doesn't stop there. He provides a rapid-fire list of qualities, both negative and positive, that should characterize a true spiritual leader. Let's break them down:

Qualities to Avoid:

1. Arrogance: True leaders don't use their position for power or control.

2. Quick temper: They're patient, slow to speak, and quick to listen.

3. Drunkenness: They're not controlled by vices.

4. Violence: Their words and actions are meant to heal, not harm.

5. Greed: They're not in it for personal gain or acclaim.

Qualities to Embody:

1. Hospitality: They genuinely love and serve people.

2. Love of good: Their passions are contagious and focused on what's truly valuable.

3. Self-control: They demonstrate mastery over impulses.

4. Uprightness and holiness: Above all, they're in hot pursuit of God.

5. Discipline: They focus their time and energy on spiritual growth.

6. Sound doctrine: They hold firmly to truth and can both teach and defend it.

John Calvin beautifully captured the dual nature of this last quality when he said a church leader "ought to have two voices: one, for gathering the sheep; and another, for warding off and driving away wolves and thieves."

It's crucial to understand that these qualities aren't just for a select few in leadership positions. They're a call to all of us. The leaders Paul describes are meant to be examples we can follow and emulate. They're not perfect, but they are "above reproach" – living in such a way that accusations don't stick because their character speaks louder than any criticism.

So, what does this mean for us today?

1. We need to recognize and appreciate godly leadership when we see it. If you're blessed to have leaders in your life who embody these qualities, thank God for them. Encourage them. Pray for them. Their work is not easy.

2. We should strive to cultivate these qualities in our own lives. Whether or not we hold an official leadership position, we all influence others. Are we growing in self-control, hospitality, and love for what is good? Are we becoming the kind of people others can look to for guidance and example?

3. We must be discerning about who we allow to influence us. In a world full of voices clamoring for our attention, are we following those who demonstrate godly character? Or are we being swayed by those who may be charismatic but lack the substance of true spiritual maturity?

4. We should create a culture that values and nurtures these qualities. How can we, in our families, churches, and communities, encourage the development of godly character? How can we be part of the solution to the "father hunger" that plagues our society?

The Apostle Paul's words to Titus remind us that true leadership isn't about titles, talents, or techniques. It's about transformed lives that point others to God. It's about becoming the kind of person who can say, as Paul did, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).